Thursday, August 21, 2008

Do you need to stick your hand in a boiling pot to know its hot?

An interesting article appeared in CNN's sci-tech blog today. It appears that there isn't enough money in the federal budget to study the effects of climate change. Places like the NSF and NOAA aren't getting enough funding because they aren't being adjusted for inflation.

As a former scientist (kinda), I know that a great deal of the work is not just in the lab, but also begging for research funds. That tends to be difficult, especially with the myriad other projects vying for those "limited" tax dollars. "Climate change" and "The War on Terror(ism)©" have different gut reactions. Are we missing the point though?

Isn't it more important to be spending money on methods to actually stop what we already know? It is important not to go off half-cocked and try a solution without understanding the whole problem, but one thing is clear: Humans are responsible for increasing the CO2 levels in the atmosphere form 1750 (give or take) to the present day. Whatever wasn't natural, is us. Therefore we have a goal, and that is to remove our influence from the atmosphere. Is that money not better spent on things like reducing emissions, CO2 sequestration, and renewables?

The barbarians are already at the gate, should we take the time to count them, and categorize foot soldiers and horsemen, or should we rather devise a way to take out as many as possible with the least damage to ourselves?

Thursday, August 7, 2008

"I'll get you, you varmint!" (Updated)

OK, a little clarification on The Giant's stance on organizations like PeTA and Greenpeace. I think that they have great missions, and really heighten peoples conciseness on things like animal rights and environmental issues. To me, they really serve as a firebrand, like you wacky alcoholic uncle who can really wax prosaic on some seriously deep issues, but by the same token is not the person you willfully invite to a party because it will be all about them in the end. Message received, but you actions speak so loud I can't hear anything you are saying. That having been said, The Giant is against all forms of animal cruelty. period.

I have a vegetable garden (that I really should be taking photos of) in my Suburbia backyard. The garden isn't doing so well because I really didn't put in the most sunny spot possible. I was growing corn, sunflowers, lima beans, summer squash, tomatoes, and pumpkins. As of today (august 7th) the corn is only up to my chest, and has one tiny ear on each plant. Although the tomatoes, squash, beans and pumpkins have nice, healthy plants, not one of them has set fruit. None. The sunflowers didn't even come up at all. There is a lot to be said about me planing late (memorial day) or not enough fertilizer (the plot is brand new) or not enough sunlight, but we have gotten a lot of rain.

The Giant was talking to his much smaller neighbors the other day. They mentioned that they were having the worst time with vegetables being stolen from their garden. Theirs is in a good spot, gets plenty of sun, no pests, etc. So their plants actually set fruit. "Bummer" I thought. "They aren't stealing from me. Yet." But wait, they do like sunflower seeds. Hmmm.

Next day, I come home and go to look out at The Giant's brand new screened in porch. What to my wandering eyes should appear: a squirrel runs past the french doors. INSIDE the porch! Thinking one of the workmen must have let it in, I rush to the door to let the poor little guy out. Upon opening the door, I spy another, yes another, squirrel with his head buried in the container of birdseed that I have stored inside the porch. Quickly I spy to the screen and see the 4 inch wide hole that they chewed though the screen to get at the delicious seeds. I flew into a rage, screaming at top of my voice, "Get the (unprintable) out of my (unprintable) porch you (unprintable)(unprintable)(unprintable)(unprintable) varmint (unprintable) it!" What ensued after that was sheer hilarity in which the two thieves scampered around the inside of my porch, like those motorcycles inside steel cages that you often see at county fairs, or certain sections of the Las Vegas strip. Enraged, I pick up an extra piece of siding that the workmen left behind for repairs. Repeatedly I smacked it against the ground and against the walls, like some Neanderthal trying to get a leopard out of his cave before it eats his children. Full of sound and fury, all I succeed in doing was scaring the crap out of the fuzzballs. Stopping to watch one of them panting and scared out of its tiny mind an urge rises within me. "I could kill that (unprintable) right now. He's so scared I can just reach out and snap its neck before he'd get the chance to bite me. It'd be quick and painless, more than he deserves."

Right there. Right there I feel the urge of 100,000 years of evolution. "Kill what threatens you. Kill what steals from you. If it lives your children don't eat. Kill."

"Dude, chill." I say audibly. "It's a (unprintable) squirrel. You are the dumb-ass that left the birdseed out." forgetting that these guys had chewed though the container at a point previous, providing the second one with the access into the container in the first place.

Calmly, I walk back, open both screen doors, (letting those tiger mosquitoes in, the reason for the porch in the first place). I continue to smack the siding on the ground, but less frantically, using my evolved cortex to solve a problem, instead of a finding the quickest way to kill something 200 times smaller than me. One makes it out quickly, then after a minute, the second one (the VERY scared one) makes his way out. I'm left with the task of cleaning the spilled seed up, and patch the whole in the screen with duct tape since the workmen haven't shown me how to replace the screens yet.

So what to do at this point? Obviously the reason why the squirrels are so bad in my 'hood is because we killed all their predators. The wolves, bears, and mountain lions were all removed because of the same instincts that almost made me kill the squirrels. Whether justified or not, they were a bigger threat than just to my garden. Coyotes are making into my section of Suburbia, but I think they won't have much of an impact. Trapping them maybe? Moving them to the park and therefore someone else's problem? Or do I have to assume the role of predator since humanity took the real ones out? Is this out legacy? To be apex predators to something as small as squirrels and chipmunks? Thank God the crows aren't that aggressive, or then I'd be in real trouble.

UPDATE:
Thank you Mango Power Girl for letting me know that even western squirrels are a pain in the behind. I'm not so sure they are looking for moisture, since they also eat all the apples off my tress as well. Sadly, I'd leave water out for them, but then the mosquitoes would be even more intolerable. BTW, not only are the squirrels a problem, deer wandered into my yard and ate all the corn. Not just the ears, but the entire stalk all the way down to the ground. Who said the only wildlife inside the beltway are interns? Next year: cage the whole thing.